And every time when you are on top of the world…how exactly do you process it?

Does it feel like a flower has bloomed or does it feel like the egg has hatched?

Or?

Does it feel like you’ve not yet begun?
There are two emotions one experiences when at the top of the scene.

To feel as a whole or feel like a nothing.

I mostly have experienced the latter.
I feel like a nothing.

It’s not because of the ‘what am I, who am I and why am I?’ that channelises as a way through for such a feeling.

It’s so much about the ‘How Am I?’

Because probably the ‘How’ opens the gate for all the W’s.

When at the top, the danger is maximum and the fear minimum and hence the only thing matters to and for the core is what have you been and what you aspire to be as.

This ‘how’ makes me reminisce not only about the experiences that have shaped me but also recall all the moments I didn’t choose to be the other way.

The other way?
The misunderstood, lacking self-awareness, unloving, brutal, unkind and lonely.

Been away from the world for a lot many times but never apart from it.

But why do I feel like a nothing?
Maybe because I still continue to want conquering everything :p